Sitting down with my client (screen to screen) following a deep EMDR session a few weeks prior, she shares that while she experienced so much clarity, resolution, and a massive release during and following her last session, she confesses that she was utterly exhausted for a few days afterward and noticeably crabby with those she loved most. What gives? Wasn’t she ‘supposed’ to be experiencing the opposite effect? Feeling and acting like her best self—especially toward those most important to her?
So here’s the deal. Yes, you will experience substantial relief following EMDR, AND… not always right away. Healing is not linear. And EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) supports your entire internal system in so many different ways. We’re identifying those old programs and beliefs, taking the intensity out of them and the situations that contributed to their creation, and, in the process, clearing out soooo much stagnant energy that has been trapped within the body.
The result? Well, it can be a mixed bag because everyone’s internal system is so unique. Immediately following a session, some people feel enlivened, energized, clear, and open. No longer anchored by the weight of the past, they’re ready to take on the day and feel unstoppable. Beautiful! And some feel a bit more raw, tender, sensitive, and physically depleted. Like they need to clear their schedule, change into their jammies, watch bad TV with chicken noodle soup all day, and just Be. Others may experience a mix of the above, or something entirely unique to them. No reaction is better or worse, right or wrong. Just different—which makes sense considering all of our systems are truly unique.
This is why it’s so important to be attuned to what YOU need to take care of yourself, or to be taken care of, after EMDR. Much of this can, and should, be preemptively planned for. Think of it as looking out for Future You. Anticipating and making the necessary arrangements for you to feel nurtured and tended to, in a way that only you know what that looks like.
Perhaps it’s discussing with your boss ahead of time that you’ll need to arrange for a light day following your session, or better yet, taking the rest of the day off if feasible. Perhaps a relaxing massage or acupuncture to support your energy in continuing to flow and release post-session? Maybe a gentle workout or time in nature? A phone call or lunch date to debrief with someone who knows about the healing journey you’re on and can support you—or help you shift your attention and talk about trash TV, depending on what you need at that moment.
With this in mind, I spoke with my client about creating a ‘Post-EMDR Self-Care Menu.’ A nice list of a variety of different activities that you can choose from, depending on your particular needs for that particular day. Take the pressure off yourself to come up with what you need on the spot, when you may be drained and experiencing decision fatigue. Maybe every time after EMDR, you treat yourself to your favorite fancy latte and give yourself permission to just sit in a cafe and read for a bit?
This is just as much a part of the healing process as doing the work in session. It’s not about getting it right, but, more importantly, about getting to know, trust, and choose what you need, and cultivating a greater sense of self-trust to take care of those needs in a tender and nurturing way.
Show up for yourself. Nurture yourself. You’re worth it. Your past and future self are thanking you for the work you are doing now.
I’m Samantha Straub, MSW, LIMHP, LICSW, trained in and practicing EMDR since 2014. If you are in Washington, Nebraska, or Colorado and have been thinking about taking the next step in your healing journey and would like to learn more about EMDR and how it could support you, please reach out today. Give me a call, text, or shoot me an email. You’re not meant to heal alone, and you don’t have to.
Reach out today to learn how EMDR can help you break free from mental barriers and step into your full potential.
